North Carolina's First Elder Law Firm

The Four Core Values

While Elder Law is a unique specialty in the legal profession, Elder Law attorneys embrace the four ethical values that are the heart of their professional conduct: competence, communication, confidences and loyalty.

It is hard for many people to believe that lawyers have core values, let alone ethics, what with the bashing of the legal profession. Just in the last few years, the cynical, even negative swell against lawyers has risen to the level of a national past time. As the butt of jokes on Jay Leno’s Tonight Show, or the target of ridicule on Late Night with David Letterman, lawyers and lawyering often are center stage. There are ample sources for pithy sound bites and crude depictions. If the ethics of any culture are found in its stories and narratives, then the legal profession better look out. The stories and narratives paint pictures that depict too many lawyers violating what our society knows is right. The moral of countless stories or narratives is that lawyers are respected about as much as used car salesmen!

The reality is the great majority of lawyers apply the legal profession’s core values when serving clients. However, little is written about them. The reality is also, that there are a small minority of lawyers caught violating legal ethics and ignoring core values. Too often, the lead sound bites on TV and the newspaper headlines create the illusion that these lawyers are the majority.

The general exception is when the lawyer is yours. Most people believe that their lawyers are competent, have communicated well with them, continually protect their confidences and are loyal to them.

The Four Core Values Applied:

1.     Competence. Elder Law attorneys assure their competence by maintaining their continued education, gaining board certification in elder law as Certified Elder Law Attorneys (“CELA”) or achieving specialization through the North Carolina Bar Association as estate and trust lawyers.

2.     Communication. Elder Law attorneys go to great lengths to maintain timely contact and communication with clients, including the habit of returning calls within 24 hours, and copying clients on all correspondence related to them.

3.     Confidences. Elder Law attorneys protect confidential information of their clients, giving out no confidential information without the client’s expressed permission, unless in circumstances of great harm to the client. Usually, Elder Law attorneys send a written letter of engagement to their clients and specifically confirm those to whom the clients allow the communication of confidential information.

4.     Loyalty. Elder Law attorneys most always tell their clients that their loyalties are directed solely to the client being served. When there are multiple clients (like husband, wife and children), then this requires Elder Law attorneys to know and understand who their clients are from the very beginning.

    
If you and your family are about to see a lawyer, then be sure to ask for an explanation of the core values of lawyering and how those values will be delivered to you if the lawyer is hired.

Silence ISN’T Golden: Has Your Family Had THE TALK?

The Cost of Not Talking. Families tend to avoid talking about difficult topics and the consequences can be costly – both from a financial and emotional perspective – particularly when it comes to long term care and end of life issues. In our experience, families who have navigated the tricky terrain of talking openly with each other about these issues tend to fare better in their long term planning than those who ignore or delay the inevitable. With the holiday season right around the corner, I feel that it is important to write an article entitled, “Has Your Family Had THE TALK?” As you make plans for family gatherings during Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, Christmas or New Years, keep in mind some of the information contained within that may be relevant to you and your family.

The national demographics have begun a dramatic shift towards a population with a greater percentage of citizens over 55, triggering questions concerning the quality of life for our nation’s senior citizens. These discussions have not only reached a fevered pitch in the realm of politics and policies, but also the realities are affecting families on a very personal level. Skyrocketing health care costs, changes to state and national laws regarding Medicaid and Medicare, senior housing alternatives and long term care options are but a few of the issues facing families who have elderly parents and grandparents. Answers may be hard to find and frequently tough to understand.

First PRINCIPLES -- Stop, look, and listen. The best place to begin is by using your powers of observation. At your next family event, take special note of how your parents or grandparents look and behave. Especially if there are notable declines, time to act to put legal protections in place may be running out. However, even for folks who are perfectly okay, it is important to confirm that they are not procrastinating getting their legal ducks in a row.

Don’t Stop Asking. Is Grandma well-groomed? Is Dad having a hard time walking? Can Mom see and hear all that is going on around her? How is Grandpa’s memory? Has Dad lost a lot of weight in a short period of time? If you are at your parent’s home, does it appear to be tidy and clean? Is there food in the refrigerator or cupboards? Answering “no” to one or more of these questions may indicate your family member needs help with some of the activities of daily living. If so, this is a good time to get other family members involved in sharing their own observations and to initiate the first step in opening up the family talk and setting the groundwork for future conversations. It’s critically important that you have and exhibit to those you care for, the mindset that it is entirely THEIR best interests you are looking out for. Nothing contaminates the discussion quicker than the sense that the “helpers” are acting selfishly and trying to advance their own agenda.

It’s No Secret. Families don’t always see eye to eye on many topics. Discussing the well-being of your parents can conjure up memories of old childhood conflicts. When possible, it is important to leave those conflicts at the door and keep in mind the bigger goal of what is best for Mom and Dad. Like any good mediation session, it sometimes helps to identify one person most known for level-headed moderation to act as the point person for managing the dialogue. If it helps, go with a list of all the questions or concerns that require family attention and consensus. Working from a list can help keep everyone on topic and assure nothing is overlooked or forgotten.

Engage Your Compassion! Above and beyond it all, be sure to engage your compassion – with your parents and your siblings. With luck, guidance and some concrete skills you may find this journey together a rewarding one.

For more information, visit our Charlotte Elder Law Firm Website.