The placement of a family member into a nursing home changes everything. The relationships and the routines that revolve around the family are forever redirected, breaking the ties that that sustained the continuity of family as the family knew it. Hopefully, the family approached the inevitable with planning and investigation.
So, what do you do now that a loved one is in the nursing home – Above all – start with this:
The Journal - Keep a notebook or journal and maintain it on a consistent basis - 2-3 times a day, or a minimum of 3-4 times a month – every time there is contact with others, record in the journal, date, time, location, communication, names and detailed writing of the substance of the contact. Once you have begun with the journal, here’s what to do, how to do it, when to do it and who to do it to:
What to Do.
1. Immediately schedule a care-plan meeting.
2. Ask to review all records received or maintained about the resident.
3. Immediately visit with and offer assistance to the head nurse of the hall, unit or section in which the resident is located.
4. Immediately find out the names of all direct care staff on all shifts.
5. Get into the habit or regular visitation, coupling it with unannounced appearances without notice.
6. Be kind, Helpful to and with direct care staff – give notes, letters of support, snacks, cookies, cakes and party whenever the occasion – make them feel like family.
7. Meet and get to know other residents and their families in the facility
8. Orchestrate visitations by extended family, friends, neighbors, pastoral care support from church
9. If possible, make sure the resident is taken out of the facility as often as possible.
How to Do It
10. In Person Contact
11. Internet Contact
12. Letter writing
13. Coordinate with all family members, friends, support group and extended network
When to Do It
Simply as often as possible, discipline and consistency is the best way to sustain the quality of life of your family member that is a nursing home resident.
Who to Do It to
Family should have no hesitation in contacting those responsible for the care provided to their loved one in a nursing home. Above all, along with consistency, always be tactful and appropriate with your language and dialogue.
Who NOT to Do It to – You may think that it will help to make calls and send emails and letters to the President of the United States, U. S. Senators, Representatives, the Secretaries of US HHS, and your state DHHS, state senators and representatives, the mayor and so many others. It rarely helps, and often diminishes your voice as an advocate for your loved one. On the other hand, TV, radio and newspaper press relish nursing home victim stories.